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Fifty Key Messages – a positive parenting style works

14 Oct, 2019

Fifty Key Messages – a positive parenting style works

Are you a positive parent?

Positive parenting makes a real difference to child development and children’s behaviour is strongly influenced by parenting styles and practices. Research suggests growing up in nurturing, secure family environments, for example, is important as it is associated with positive child wellbeing and the development of pro-social behaviours as well as minimising exposure to harmful problem activity. (Prosocial behaviour is behaviour that is good for us and good for the people or society around us, so examples would be sharing, helping, cooperating, being concerned for the feelings and wellbeing of others)

We all vary in how we parent. It is worth thinking about our own way of parenting.

If we provide a lot of love and nurturing to our children but also put strong boundaries and supervision in place then we are likely to have an Authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parenting has been described as the most positive parenting style. It is described as a democratic approach to parenting, integrating warmth with firm behavioural control. For example, authoritative parents teach children to conform to standards they set through negotiation rather than by punishment. They expect children to achieve these standards in a supportive context that respects both the children’s and parents’ rights. The children of authoritative parents are more likely to be self-controlled, independent, resilient and socially responsible.

This type of Authoritative parent:

  • Enables a child to make his/her own choices
  • Makes clear rules and enforces them
  • Rewards children’s positive behaviour
  • Is involved in their child’s daily life where possible

Much research over recent decades concludes that an authoritative parenting style is related to positive outcomes for children and teenagers. Among the benefits are a more secure sense of identity, higher self-esteem, greater independence, more pro-social behaviour, better outcomes in education and better resistance to peer pressure.

What’s your parenting style?

Positive

(authoritative)

gives lots of love and nurturing and is also strong on boundaries and supervision

This type of parent:

  • Enables a child to make his/her own choices
  • Makes clear rules and enforces them
  • Rewards children’s positive behaviour
  • Is involved in their child’s daily life where possible

Bossy

(Authoritarian)

puts a lot of emphasis on boundaries, rules and supervision but doesn’t show a lot of love or nurturing

This type of parent:

  • Has expectations for a child that are too high
  • Does not enable a child to make his/her own choices
  • Often insults and belittles a child
  • Often ignores good behaviour and excessively punishes a child

Easy Going

(Laissez-Faire)

Shows a lot of love and nurturing but places little emphasis on boundaries or supervision

This type of parent:

  • Lets a child do what he/she wants
  • Does not establish any rules for a child
  • Will give in to a child having tantrums
  • Provides no structure for a child

Distant

(Neglectful/ Rejecting/ Disengaged)

Shows little love or nurturing and does not provide boundaries or supervision

This type of parent:

  • Does not have a close relationship with a child
  • Allows a child to do what they want
  • Shows little interest in a child’s behaviour or aspirations
  • Does not supervise a child/or arrange adequate supervision when needed

Parent Hub Donegal

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