Fifty Key Messages – Top six ways to be a positive parent
CRISPS is an activity from the Lifestart Foundation Spirals Programme, see www.lifestartfoundation.org
C. Be Consistent and avoid idle threats
Follow through on what you say and don’t change the ‘rules’ from day to day. Make sure all the people who are involved in caring for your child (partners, childminders, grandparents etc.) agree on what’s allowed. Apply the 80/20 rule. At least try and be consistent 80% of the time!
R. Reward desirable behaviour
Reward good behaviour rather than only punishing undesirable behaviour. Positive parenting should be more about learning and rewarding good behaviour, than punishing poor behaviour.
Sample Rewards :
- Hugs, playing favourite game, story, gold star
- AVOID – something that has been bought, something to eat
Remember children need attention – they will be more likely to repeat whatever they get the most attention doing! Attention when they have done something good is a lot more effective than giving them attention when they have done something not so good.
I. Be genuinely interested in what your child is saying, doing, thinking and feeling
S. Provide Structure
Structure your day:
Dressing time, mealtime, bedtime. Younger children love routine, so try and provide as much structure in their day as possible.
Structure your home:
“Places & Spaces”: Provide accessible places for things that your child needs like their books, games and toys. It’s great if you have room to let your child have some special space – for example, an area of the garden when they are younger or a corner of a room or ‘den’ when they are older.
Plan, Explain, Do and Review. Involve your child, where possible, in your plans for the day giving explanations if necessary. When the activities are finished it’s good to share the experience, talking about some of the funny things that have happened.
P. Be Positive
Do say: “Walk to the table”
Don’t say: “Stop Running”
S. Be Specific
Do say: “You can play with your cars on the floor”
Don’t say: “Stop messing”
Other things you can do to be a positive parent:
Look out for the positive things that your child does around the home and comment on them. “Well done Kyle for putting those toys back in the crate”.
See Barnardos Positive Parenting Booklet: http://www.tusla.ie/publications
For more Key Messages check out https://www.tusla.ie/parenting-24-seven/6-12-years/