Here are some reasons why singing to your baby or toddler is so good for them.
Read More›
Sometimes as parents we worry that our child is shy but maybe they are simply quiet. How can we tell the difference and encourage our child to engage well with others? Here are some thoughts on that from The Growing Child, the newsletter distributed by Lifestart.
Shy or Quiet: What’s the difference
There is a fine line between “quiet” and “shy.” Shyness implies inadequacy, an inability to deal with people or situations, an inability to communicate thoughts or feelings. The major difference between “shy” and “quiet” is the child’s comfort and happiness. Is he alone or is he lonely? Does he prefer not to say anything, or does he want to express himself but is afraid or unable to do so. Does he have positive or negative feelings about himself?
The shy child is self-conscious and fears others’ evaluations or rejections. The quiet child is probably making evaluations of others. (Ask his opinions. His insight might surprise you!) The shy child is unable to reach out to others, take risks, or approach new situations. He holds feelings and emotions inside and may be unpopular and uncomfortable around peers.
Most people are naturally shy to some degree. We don’t rush into new situations, talk to every stranger we meet, or share our every thought, idea, or emotion. However, the quiet child has the potential of crossing the line into shyness. If he is not encouraged to communicate and does not express himself, he could develop self-doubts, real or imagined rejection, misinterpretation of others’ comments, or lack of communication.
It is important for parents to observe and know their child. If the child is quiet, parents can communicate verbally to reinforce the child’s self-worth and to provide a supportive home life.
The GROWING TOGETHER NEWSLETTER is issued by; GROWING CHILD Inc., and is distributed free, courtesy of: THE LIFESTART FOUNDATION,
2, Springrowth House, Balliniska Rd.,
Springtown Ind. Estate, L’Derry BT48 OGG
Tel: 028 71365363. Fax: 028 71365334.
E-mail: headoffice@lifestartfoundation.org
Web Site: www.lifestartfoundation.org
Here are some great ideas from the First 5 website to help you support your baby’s learning and development
Click on the images for a better view or download the PDFs by just clicking the link below
Tá an t-eolas ar fáil anseo i nGaeilge fosta leidleathanach_thuismitheoir_babaithe
For more information from First 5 on supporting your baby/toddler’s learning have a look at the website https://first5.gov.ie/parents/supporting-learning
https://first5.gov.ie/userfiles/pdf/covid-19/info-for-parents.pdf
https://first5.gov.ie/userfiles/pdf/covid-19/info-for-parents.pdf
More creative ideas from First 5 on how you can support your pre-school child’s learning at home.
Here is one about making puppets from bits and pieces lying round the house. An activity like this helps to develop imagination, language, problem solving and creative skills.
And here is another lovely video on imaginative play
For more creative ideas check out https://first5.gov.ie/parents/preschool-at-home
By the age of 10-12 years our children know what they are interested in. If we can tap into this we can help them learn in all sorts of ways. Ordinary everyday tasks also help them to learn. You can find lots of learning activities on http://www.helpmykidlearn.ie/activities/10-12
Ages and stages
At this age children use language in many different ways – to explain, describe, question and share. They ask questions and discuss ideas and information to communicate and develop their thinking and learning.
Ages 10 to 12
At this age children use language in many different ways – to explain, describe, question and share. They ask questions and discuss ideas and information to communicate and develop their thinking and learning.
By the ages of 10 or 12 children are able to listen for longer and they notice the way people say things. They discover deeper meanings from this both in conversation and in reading. They know that meaning includes information and feelings. They can talk in detail about things that happened in the past or are planned for the future.
They know that some words have two meanings and use them correctly. They know basic grammar rules and can explain them to you or to younger brothers and sisters.
They are starting to think and make judgements about where information comes from. They can consider how writers put across their thoughts and ideas. They can start to see how the media works and how it communicates certain ideas through both words and pictures. At this age some children start to see how some kinds of reading and writing have more power in the world than others.
Children of 10 and 12 are beginning to understand and use large numbers. They can see the patterns and relationships between numbers. They are learning and using their times-tables. They are learning to multiply and divide whole numbers, fractions and decimals.
Most children now understand when it is suitable to estimate and when it is important to calculate an exact answer. They are often good at estimating. They are familiar with notes and coins and can use both to give change.
At this age many children have good IT skills and use computers for both leisure and learning. They are developing a clearer understanding of the strengths, limitations and risks of the internet. They know that the information they find on the internet may, or may not, be reliable.
Your child might enjoy discussing books, newspapers, magazines or TV programmes. They might like to tell you why they like certain books or programmes. They can explain what they think will happen next and what makes them think this. They can discuss different characters and relationships. Some children now read a lot, others may still find it a bit of a struggle. Your support and encouragement help, whatever stage they are at. You might want to ask your child’s school to give extra help with their reading if they are finding it hard.
Creativity is still important but varies a lot by this age. Some children start to do their own plays or concerts. Many like to draw and paint. Some make complicated structures with lego or create items with wood. Others are creative in their cooking or gardening. These activities are important for learning and should be encouraged.
Top Tips
- Chat to your child – ask them to show you something interesting they have learnt at school, from their friends or on the internet. Talking and listening helps build their communication skills particularly when they feel that you listen to them.
- Involve your child in maths you do every day – shopping, discussing time and dates, budgets, DIY and cooking.
- Be encouraging about what your child is reading and try not to be too judgemental. If they are not reading much, go to your local library for ideas about books. Your child is most likely to read and write about things they are interested in.
- Encourage your child to write – shopping lists, cards and messages for friends – and to use calendars to record what they have done and for planning.
- Find out about what they are doing in school. Talk to your child’s teacher about how to support their learning at home.
- Play board and other games with your child. Games such as Scrabble, the TV programme Countdown and card games.
Find out more plus get lots of activities and resources at http://www.helpmykidlearn.ie/activities/10-12
Here is a great short video about how 3-4 year olds learn, taken from the Help My Kid Learn website.
Building it into your day
As a parent, you are your child’s first teacher. Your home is a place where lots of learning is happening every day – the most important thing is that your child enjoys learning. Young children learn by playing and by copying things they see you doing and saying. You can support your children’s learning by giving them lots of opportunities to do and say things everyday: both in the house and when you are out and about.
Ages and Stages
Children learn differently and reach the important stages of learning in different ways and at different times. In each age group we talk about some of the learning stages to look out for and how you can help your baby and your children to learn. We give possible ages when children reach certain stages of learning but often these ages don’t quite fit and the stages happen at other ages – earlier or later. So it’s important not to feel there is a problem if your friend’s child is doing things differently than your child.
Top Tips
- Talk to your child about what is happening and give them a chance to speak. This helps them become more aware of the world around them, and to listen, think and understand words.
- Play with your child – it’s one of the most effective ways children learn. As a parent, you are your child’s best playmate so try to spend time every day playing together.
- Read or tell stories. 10 minutes a day can make a huge difference. When you and your child both enjoy the experience of reading together your child will learn to love books. And if you can’t read a story, just tell one – kids love stories about grown-ups.
- Write notes. Let your child see you writing notes, lists or emails. Encourage them to use ‘pretend’ writing in play and as they learn to write let them make lists of things you need to do.
- Count steps, food or anything. It takes time to learn that 2 means two things, 5 means five and that the final number you count out refers to a total amount so count every chance you have.
You can get more information, tips, videos and resources here http://www.helpmykidlearn.ie/activities/3-4
Help My Kid Learn http://helpmykidlearn.ie/ is a great website full of lots of information, tips and resources to help you help your child learn. Our children are learning about the world from the moment they are born. We are already doing so much to help them understand and to develop the building blocks for language, reading, writing and understanding numbers.
Building it into your day
The first three years provide a great opportunity for learning. Babies and toddlers need stimulation to help make the most of this time and make learning possible. The best way to do this is to talk to them from the moment they are born – in your home when they’re beside you or out and about, just talk, listen and respond to your baby as much as possible. Play, sing and encourage them as much as possible – have fun together. Read aloud or tell stories – all these natural activities will help to build the foundation for your child to learn more.
Ages and Stages
Babies and children learn differently and reach the important stages of learning in different ways and at different times. In each age group we talk about some of the learning stages to look out for and how you can help your baby and your children to learn. We give possible ages when children reach certain stages of learning but often these ages don’t quite fit and the stages happen at other ages – earlier or later. So it’s important not to feel there is a problem if your friend’s child is doing things differently than your child.
Top tips
1. Talk to your baby about what you are doing, where you are going and what you see. Your baby will learn to talk by hearing other people talking. Sing or say nursery rhymes to your baby and sing as much as possible. Your baby will love the sound of your voice. Examples are “Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star” and ones with actions like “I’m a little teapot”. Later when your child uses a word, add another one, for example when they say “cat”, say “nice cat”.
2. Play with your baby – newborns love physical play, gently tickle their face or count their fingers and toes. Repeat sounds your baby makes. Listen and point out to your baby sounds that are around you.
3. Read – share stories and books at an early age. Spend time with your baby looking at books, 5 or 10 minutes a day can make a difference.
4. Move, reach and grasp – encourage your baby to reach for things – mirror toys or bubbles – it’s these movements that help build the muscles that lead to scribbles that will help with writing later on. When your child is concentrating by themselves and once you know they are safe, allow them to explore by themselves.
5. Count with your baby. Count their fingers and toes and going up and downstairs.
For lots of information, tips, resources and videos click the link http://www.helpmykidlearn.ie/activities/0-2
Active listening is a good way to improve your communication with your child. It lets your child know you are interested in what she has to say.
To practice active listening:
- give your full attention to your child
- make eye contact and stop other things you are doing
- get down on your child’s level
- and reflect or repeat back what she is saying and what she may be feeling to make sure you understand
It can be tempting to brush off our children’s problems, especially if we have had a bad day or if we are busy. But our children need to know that we are going to listen to them. This will make it more likely our children will talk with us about their hopes and problems when they are older. Here is an example.
Active Listening Example 1
Your child’s football game is at 6:00. You only have a short time to make dinner, help with homework, and get everyone ready for the game. While the kids play, you quickly start making dinner. Soon, you hear your son crying. He comes and tells you that his brother hit him and called him a bad name. You are tempted to keep making dinner while nodding your head at what your child is saying, but then you decide to show him you are actively listening. You stop what you are doing, turn to him, make eye contact, and summarize what he has told you and how he seems to be feeling. You say, “It sounds like your brother made you feel sad when he hit you and said mean things.” By doing this, you have let your child know that he has your full attention. He knows that his emotions and feelings are important to you.
Sometimes a child who is upset may not be able to name the emotion she is feeling. Active listening can be a great way to help her. Here is an example:
Active Listening Example 2
You pick up your daughter from preschool. She is crying and tells you that her friend took her favourite toy and stuck out his tongue at her. You show her that you are actively listening when you say, “It seems like you are sad about your friend taking your favourite toy.” Your daughter continues to cry and nods her head. She says that she thinks her friend will break the toy. You show her that you are still actively listening by saying, “So you are scared that your friend might break your toy.” At this time, your daughter calms down a bit. You and your daughter continue to talk, and she knows that it is okay to be upset. She has begun to learn how to label and cope with her feelings by talking to someone.
Using Reflections to Show You’re Listening
Reflection is one way for you to show you are actively listening to your child. You can do this by repeating back what your child has said or by labelling and summing up how you think he feels.
Reflections of Words
When you reflect your child’s words, you are giving attention to him for his use of words. This increases the chance that your child will talk more because he wants your attention. You don’t have to repeat exactly what your child said but what you say is usually very similar. You can add detail, shorten, or correct what your child has said. Here is an example:
Reflection Example
Child: “I drawed some sghetti.”
Parent Response: “You drew some long spaghetti.”
In this example, the parent corrects the grammar, pronounces “spaghetti” for the child, and adds detail by describing the spaghetti as “long”.
Reflection of Emotions
When you reflect your child’s emotions, you watch your child’s behaviour and describe the emotions he seems to be having. This gives your child a word for the emotion and helps him learn that it is ok to talk about feelings. Reflection of emotions is not always easy. Here are some tips to make it easier:
- Take a guess even if you are unsure.
There may be times when you are unsure what your child is feeling. For example, your child may be crying but you may not know if he is angry, scared, or sad. Let him know that you are paying attention by saying, “It seems like you are upset or “It sounds/looks like something is bothering you”. Your child may not know himself what he is feeling and by talking you can figure it out together.
- Words aren’t needed all the time.
You can let your child know you are paying attention to how she feels by what you do even if you don’t say anything. You can just sit with your child while she is upset or stay physically close and hold or comfort her.
- You don’t always have to agree.
Sometimes it is difficult to summarize or label your child’s feelings because you think he should be responding in a different way. Telling your child to stop feeling a particular way does not show your child you are trying to understand how he feels. Help him deal with and understand his feelings, by talking with your child about his feelings.
- Talk about other feelings.
Children may have several emotions at the same time. For example, your child might feel sad and afraid at the same time. Show your child you care about what she is showing on the outside and may be feeling on the inside by talking about all the feelings.
- Don’t worry about getting it wrong.
Sometimes when parents are learning active listening skills, they worry that they will incorrectly summarize and label their child’s feelings. You should not worry. Children usually correct their parents if their feelings are described incorrectly. If your child corrects you, try again. Reflect what he has said to you, and expand on it to give him more words and to learn ways to describe his feelings.
Have questions? Need tips? Want to practice?
Check out Quick Tips https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/communication/quicktips.html and Answers from Experts https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/communication/answersfromexperts.html for more info about active listening!
Click through the links below to watch videos and practice your skills for communicating with your child.
Watch Videos
- Playtime: Communicating with your Child available here https://www.google.com/search?q=play+time+communicating+with+your+child&oq=play+time+communicating+with+your+child&aqs=chrome..69i57.6194j0j8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#kpvalbx=_EK6NXrqeFYGa1fAPxuOn8A040
- How to use positive communication https://youtu.be/mEqaNDwaKfk
Practice Skills
- Communicating with your child- what would you say? Available here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3oKwCk5k3w
- Communicating with your child – what would you do? Available here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISGsnvULhOc
This material has been adapted from the Parenting section of the Center for Disease Control website https://www.cdc.gov/parents/index.html
Our thanks to Donegal County Childcare Committee who were involved in the development of this leaflet along with CYPSC, Tusla and the Department of Children and Youth Affairs. To get a pdf version of the leaflet just click on the link:- Books not screens
The Importance of Literacy for Children
Literacy is one of the most important skills we develop in our early childhood years. It’s not just about being able to read in school, either. Learning how to read gives children the skills they need to learn and comprehend complex ideas that help shape them into individuals. Being able to read and write gives them a means of self-expression, which is essential for self-esteem. It also expands their world as they learn about different people, places, and perspectives without ever having to leave where they are.
Developing literacy isn’t a one-way avenue—it takes a multi-faceted approach. Parents need to read to children and use unfamiliar words with them in order to help develop their vocabulary. Teachers need to provide a wide array of lessons, including phonics, handwriting, vocabulary, grammar, and creative reading/writing. Telling stories, listening to the radio, and learning how to navigate the library and conduct research also develop higher-level skills as children age.
Literacy and Music
One literacy tool parents may not consider is the power of music. Music can be used in many ways to develop a child’s reading abilities. It starts with the alphabet. How do you remember learning your letters? Was it through a song? That’s not a coincidence. Our brains have an uncanny ability to remember rhythm, melodies, and rhymes. Teaching children the alphabet through the phenomenon of song helps them learn these building blocks of language much quicker and with less difficulty.
Music can help children improve their literacy skills way beyond the alphabet song. According to a 2014 study published in The Journal of Neuroscience, children who took music lessons for two years became better at processing language, in addition to improving their musical skills. Researchers think that the shared elements between language and music—pitch, timing, and timbre—activate the same parts of the brain, so when you exercise one, it helps improve the other. Furthermore, playing music with others improves higher-level skills including collaboration, creativity, and critical thinking. Therefore, adding music lessons to your child’s curriculum can improve literacy as well as other academic skills crucial for 21st century success.
Adding Music to Your Child’s Life
If your child’s school offers choir or music groups at lunchtime or after school, encouraging them to sign up is one of the easiest ways to get them involved in music. However, it’s important to find other ways to engage your child in musical activity so they enjoy it, rather than solely view it as an academic obligation. Provide your child with their own area in the home where they can practice their instrument and escape when they’re feeling overwhelmed by other responsibilities.
Other ways to add music to your child’s education include:
- Sing together!
- Incorporate music into day-to-day chores and activities.
- Play classical music when it’s time to read or study.
- Attend concerts and musicals as a family.
- Put on some high-tempo music when playing sports or exercising.
- Keep instruments around the house.
- Sign them up for private music lessons.
Literacy isn’t just about earning A’s in English class. Learning how to read, write, and interpret language gives children the skills to explore and grow in this world. Adding music into your child’s education works similar parts of the brain that are used when reading or writing. By including music in your child’s learning, you improve their abilities to accept, process, and retain information through the power of language.
(Thanks to Charles Carpenter for this piece)